Sunny Day

Life really isn’t anything like it is in the movies. In that world when good things happen, the sun shines and the birds sing and everyone in the entire world seems to grin like an idiot. Funerals are always miserable and rainy. When someone’s angry there’s lightning or there’s something else that just sounds really… Grrr! I learnt about that in school. The teacher called it… Pathetic fallacy? I think it was that. Something about making the emotions more obvious or something. I’m probably wrong though, I’m not very good at English. But wouldn’t it be so much easier if the world worked like that? You’d know exactly what was going on, at the time it was going on, no faffing about. Sounds great, in my own humble opinion.

But then again, it would be pretty damn confusing. Like, the weather might focus on one particular person, but that wouldn’t make it easier for everyone… And if the weather focused on everyone, the weather man on TV would be out of a job! People are too unpredictable for that. If the world really worked like it did on TV, it wouldn’t be half as pretty or meaningful. It would be a mess. Rain, sunshine, thunder, wind, drought, all at once! And that would be from only one person, because feeling just one emotion is impossible usually. A person could be in love and they could say that love is all they feel when really… There’s jealousy, because that one person looked at their partner for a bit too long. There’s nervousness—what if their partner doesn’t really love them and are just pretending for their sake? And of course, there’s that constant nagging fear of “what if they leave me”.

Now I’m not saying that that’s how it goes for everyone, but something of the sort is pretty much a staple thing. The norm. Then there’s people who don’t quite feel things the same way most people seem to. Now that can get even more confusing! I imagine the weather would always be really, really hot for a person with some kind of anxiety issue, because you know, that’s really uncomfortable. But maybe it would be really cold? I don’t know, it would be rude of me to ask, I think. People don’t like being asked about things like that. It’s kinda taboo. Which kinda sucks, because if everyone talked about things that they were feeling there would be much less problems I think. People would understand each other better, so there would be less fighting and less drama and all that jazz. Less people would want to leave. A lot of people fantasise about leaving their lives in some way, little girls dream about being whisked away by charming princes on white horses. Boys… Well, I don’t really know what boys like. They’re weird creatures.

Girls in my year also seem to fantasise about guys and stuff, that’s why they all make themselves pretty with make up and get fancy hairdos and stuff like that, and then people bunch other girls who aren’t like that with those girls that like the guys just because they were make up. Which is dumb, because some girls just like make up! Not every girl wants a guy in her pants. That’s disgusting. No, no, I don’t understand why they want it so bad. They talk about it so often, about being “sexually frustrated” because so and so wouldn’t give them attention. They don’t understand.

I don’t wear make up any more. And my hair’s a mess. I don’t like to make myself look pretty, brings too much attention. I like it quiet, away from boys. And girls, to be honest. They can be almost as bad as boys, but in other ways… They’re not as scary. Not really, because you can sort of brush off their gossiping and words. Sort of. It still hurts, but not as much as other stuff. But you can’t talk about other stuff. It’s taboo. So pretending it never happened is the best way to go! Life goes on as normal, except it doesn’t. You see maybe it’s not sunny when you’re happy and rainy when you’re sad like in the movies, but when something happens the world can seem different to you. When you’re happy, even the most miserable day can look somewhat bearable. The rain? It’s pretty! It smells nice! It sounds soothing! And when you’re sad, a sunny day can seem somewhat grey in your head. It’s kinda weird how the mind works, don’t you think? But eventually, usually, people bounce back and it’s all normal for them again. Isn’t the mind wonderful thing when it works?

Tick, tock, tick, tock… Heads work kinda like old clocks. Usually fairly regular, but if you knock it hard enough it judders a bit then goes back to normal. But then some clocks are more fragile than others, and some take harder knocks, and gears fall out and you need to go and hire someone to fix it. But then sometimes you just can’t fix it. That’s when people really want to start running away. Some people start doing some nasty drugs to float away into their little dreamland, at least for a while. Some people drink, to forget. Some people eat a lot. Some don’t eat at all. It’s all suicide, in the end.

Hah, isn’t it a pretty day?

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